How to Know it's Time to Go
The Questions to Consider Before Leaving the States
When my wife and I announced we were leaving the U.S. in 2023, the results were mixed, to say the least. Most people were polite enough not to say anything outright, but there was a look in their face that said, "You're panicking." Some told us directly that we were being hasty, that even though things looked bad, we had to believe in our institutions. Afterall, a Democrat is president. Some told us, with a condescending tone, that they thought it was more important for us to stay and fight. And some, mostly other queer and trans people, nodded along in agreement, sharing their plans to get the hell out of dodge should the right time come.
And it appears that, for many, the right time is now. Several of the skeptics last year have now called to ask for immigration advice. Many have said, "I thought you were overreacting. But I think now you made the right decision."
The urge to move in the face of an upcoming election is not new. How many times have we all heard the "I'm moving to Canada" comments after a bad debate or a particularly bad campaign ad? But this time, perhaps because of the fascist flavor this election has taken on, the conversation around emigration is less general, more pointed, more serious.
You Aren't Imagining It
The thing is, a revolution is already happening in the U.S. It might not be the one the left wrote songs about, but the U.S. is currently undergoing a radical redefinition of what it means to be an American. Kevin Roberts, head of the Heritage Foundation (which is responsible for such documents as Project 2025 and its Mandate for Leadership), even said the quiet part out loud when he said, "[W]e are in the process of the second American Revolution, which will remain bloodless if the left allows it to be."
If you are surprised to find yourself in the middle of a Revolution, it's perhaps understandable. As Benito Mussolini (as quoted by Madeleine Albright) said, "If you pluck a chicken one feather at a time people don't notice it." Fascism doesn't arrive all at once. It arrives in stages, and its path cannot always be easily defined. Instead, it creeps, simultaneously, in several different areas.
In 2018, Yale professor Jason Stanely identified three essential features of fascism. Showcased in a NY Times Opinion Video, he identifies the following:
- Invoking a Mythic Past: "Make America Great Again"
- Sowing Division: "They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists."
- Attacking Truth: "They can make anything bad because they are the fake, fake disgusting news."
He later identified ten tactics of fascism as well, which you can read about in his book, How Facism Works: The Politics of Us and Them
But even just sticking with the initial three, there are countless examples for each of these categories. It is clear that fascism is rising in America. Even if Donald Trump is not re-elected, even if MAGA candidates suffer great losses in the 2024 election, it is easy to see how we have introduced themes of fascism into our society. Every time an "alpha male" podcaster waxes poetic about repealing women's suffrage, every time we leave a child in a cage at the border, and every time that we deny the facts we know to be true in favor of political rhetoric, we are following the fascist playbook.
So then the question becomes, what are you willing to tolerate? What conditions are you willing to live under? What would make things bad enough that it would be worth uprooting your life?
The revolution is already underway. Now, it's time to decide if you would like to live through it.
Drawing Your Line
For us, it started with the overturning of Roe v. Wade. I had long held that if Roe was overturned, I would leave the country, because a country that does not value the potential of women is not a country I would like to live in. But when that moment came, I found myself unwilling to follow through. You see, we had just purchased a house. We were trying to have a child. We both had jobs that we liked and a supportive community around us. While we were horrified at what was happening, we knew that we couldn't leave, not yet.
But Thomas's concurrence made it clear that we had more to worry about than just abortion rights. In a clarion call to far-right action, he suggested that all privacy-based rights should be re-evaluated. As a queer couple whose lives have been very much dependent on those rights, we knew that we needed to make a plan. We needed to draw our line in the sand.
So, we came up with two criteria: if they came after our marriage or my (trans) wife's hormones, then we would need to leave the country.
You'll notice here that we did not say, "if they make my wife's hormones illegal," but rather, "if they come after." This is because we decided we were unwilling to live in a time and place where illegality was the condition.
As you are developing your own set of criteria, consider the following questions:
- What policy or policies would significantly reduce my, or my family members', quality of life if they were to be enacted?
- Am I willing to live under those conditions, even if only for a short time?
- What action(s) taken by government or non-government groups would provoke your departure? At what point does violence lead to flight rather than fight? Be specific.
- What are the hypothetical steps leading up to or away from your policy or event? Would it make more sense to move your line based on this trajectory? Does this make you reconsider any of your answers?
Once you have these answers, you should have a clear picture of where your line is now drawn. For us, it didn't take long before we started to see legislation targeting gender affirming care. Not just for minors, but for adults as well. Because this crossed our line, we then enacted our plan to leave.
Making Your Plan
But enacting your plan doesn't happen in a day. Because Americans are so used to free travel around the globe, it is sometimes jarring to realize that emigration is no easy task.
In making your plan, you will need to understand the following:
- What kind of visas are available for American immigrants in your chosen country?
- Are you willing to adapt to the culture of your chosen country?
- Does your chosen country have income or vocation requirements for immigration? What kind of paperwork is required to verify your income or training?
- What other documents will be required to apply? How do you obtain each of these documents? How long will it take for you to obtain them? Do they need to be apostilled or notarized? Do they have expiration dates?
- Once you obtain required documents, how do you submit them? What is the processing time for decisions?
- Can you apply for residency once you're already in-country or do you have to apply prior to leaving? How long can you stay in your chosen country on a tourist visa?
- What travel restrictions might exist during your application period?
- Are there any other conditions of residency that you will be required to meet?
- Do you speak the local language? If not, do you feel confident in your ability to navigate the system without help? If not, do you need to hire someone? If you decide to hire someone, where can you find someone trustworthy?
- Do you wish to sell or store your belongings and start fresh in your new country? Or do you wish to ship your belongings? Do you have pets? What paperwork do they require?
And these are just the basics. As you can see, this is not a simple process. We decided to immigrate to Uruguay because of its relatively simple residency process, but between securing movers, obtaining documentation, identifying a residency specialist, and doing our best to learn the language, it still took us nearly a year to enact our plan. And, let's face it, not everyone wants to live in a small, South American country with only one direct flight from the U.S.
So, why is this important?
It is important because the amount of time it takes to organize your move directly impacts how long you may be required to live under adverse conditions. Again, ask yourself: what conditions am I willing to live under? How long am I willing to live under them?
We pulled the trigger on our plan early because of our zero tolerance policy toward the availability of gender affirming meds, which is why many saw us as being hasty. But our plan also made absolutely sure that we would never have to live in a society where my wife's health was in danger. The immigration process can be a long one. And if you start trying to enact that plan after the country is already in your danger zone, it is too late.
Define your line, identify your trigger, build your plan.
And the most significant part: trust that you made the right decision. Everyone you talk to will have a different opinion about when or how you choose to leave. This is likely because their trigger points are different from yours. Perhaps they occupy a different socio-economic class, a different race, or a different sexual orientation from you. All of these factors will determine their own willingness to leave. But because you have done the work, you can trust that you have made the right decision FOR YOU. The criteria are not universal. The solutions won't be either.
Take one task at a time, one question at a time, one breath at a time. Talk to other American immigrants. Find sources knowledgeable about the moving process. And, of course, stay keyed into the political situation at home.
For us, after nearly a year of planning, we made our move in January of 2024, and by March, we had obtained temporary residency. We're on the path to permanent residency, but it still does take time. Thankfully, we have it because we feel safe. In our new, borrowed, home, we no longer feel the need to run.
Amber Stewart is an American essayist and poet living in Uruguay. She is currently working on a book on leaving and finding home. You can learn more about their life as immigrants on their TikTok, @livelaughleave2.
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