Did you ever listen to the radio program "Car Talk"? Here's the full credits. Some are puns, others are just jokes. I think. Enjoy.
Find it here: https://www.cartalk.com/content/staff-credits
--Kim
Staff credits
The Conclusive, Definitive, Official Dewey, Cheetham & Howe Staff List
It takes this many people to produce such a lousy show? Who knew!
Despite our huge payroll, we're always on the look out for new staff members. So, if you know of someone who may be worthy to join our sordid collection of staff, send his name and position to the Car Talk Plaza Personnel Department now. Thanks!
Car Talk's Recently Hired Staff
| British Hospitality Advisor | Tina Crumpet |
| Customer Service Specialist | Begonia Payne-Diaz |
| Director of Cosmetic Surgery | Zbigniew Kuptz |
| Plumber's Crack Apologist | Lucy Lastic |
| Obsessive Yard Care Specialist | Moses Lonergan |
| Ornithology Intern | Luke A. Boyd |
| Sculling Coach | Rose Dior |
| Work and Leisure Time Coach | Kay Keneetit |
Car Talk's Official Staff Credits | |
| 401K Statement Analysts | Douse and Burnham |
| Accounts Payable Administrator | Imelda Czechs |
| Aegean Caterer | Sue Flockey |
| Accounts Payable Clerk, Moscow Office | Dasha Chekhov |
| Accounts Receivable Supervisor from the Mumbai Office | Vishnu Payup |
| Adopted Son from Sweden | Bjorn A. Payne Diaz |
| Airline Seat Tester | Wilma Butfit |
| Air-Quality Monitor | Carmine Dioxide |
| Air Traffic Controller | Ulanda U. Lucky |
| Airline Reservation Manager | Will Price Randomly |
| Alaskan Prenuptial Advisor | Rush Inuit |
| Alignment Inspector | Lou Segusi |
| Alternative Fuel Consultant | Amanda Livering Cole |
| Anger Management Coach | Kirsten Hollered |
| Anger Management Consultant | Joanne Slowburner |
| Animal Control Officer | Turner Luce |
| Appalachian Chef | Everett Possum |
| Appeals Specialist | Bud Uronner |
| Appetizer Coordinator | Barbara Ganush |
| Appointment Secretary | Stu Earley |
| Appointment Secretary II | Amadeus O. Early |
| Arbitration Expert | Viola Fuss |
| Art Critic | Phyllis Steen |
| Art Critic II | Dot Snice |
| Asphalt Contractor | Luciano Pavearoadi |
| Assertiveness Training Coach | Lois Steem |
| Assistant Customer Care Representative | Kurt Reply |
| Asst. Directors of Computer Services | Sy Burnett and Sy Quest |
| Assistant Director of Moral Support | Hugo Gurll |
| Assistant to our Make Up Artist | Gladys Radio |
| Assistant Director of Strategic Planning | Kent C. Detrees |
| Assistant Disciplinarian | Joaquin D'Planque |
| Asst. Fleet Manager | Lisa Carr |
| Assistant to the PR Specialist | Lotta B. Essen |
| Asst. Transportation Coordinator | Orson Buggy |
| Astroturf Installer | Nomar Wheaton |
| Attorney General | Janet Torino |
| Attorney General in charge of Tobacco Settlements | Hubert H. Humvee II |
| Audience Counter | Hugh Wake |
| Audience Estimator | Adam Illion |
| Audience Response Analyst | Luke Warm |
| Australian Tour Guide | Joaquin Matilda |
| Auto-Body Expert | James Bondo |
| Automotive Finishes Consultant | Rusty Steele |
| Automotive Medical Researcher | Dr. Denton Fender |
| Automotive Registrar | Megan Model |
| Auto Seat Tester | Fitz Matush |
| Back Seat Driver | Veronica Lizzioncourse |
| Back Seat Driver II | Mischa Turnov |
| Bad Joke Interpreter | Nadia Geddit |
| Bail Bond Provider | Freida Gogh |
| Bail-Bondswoman | Frieda Wander |
| Band Leader | Sasha Noyes |
| Banker, Car Talk Plaza Poker Games | Nikolai Putin |
| Bathroom Tile Installer | Lotta Bullnose |
| Bean Counter | Ed Amame |
| Bedtime Storyteller | Juan Zapata |
| Behavior Consultant | Wyatt B. Hoovesia |
| Biblical Scholar | Vera Lee Isay |
| Big Band Leader | Juan Anatou |
| Blues Coordinator | Mahamadan Ptolemy |
| Bob Dylan Specialist | I. Shelby Released |
| Bolt Tightener | Tilda Plierslip |
| Book Critic | Odessa Paige Turner |
| Boston Funeral Director | Hadley Newham |
| Bowling Coach | Menachem Down |
| Brake Adjuster | Schlomo Quigley |
| Breathalyzer Administrator | Eureka Garlic |
| British Cutlery Specialist | Sir Irving Spoon |
| British Doorman | Isaiah Olchap |
| Broadway Reviewers | Ike and Stan Musicals |
| Brother in the Military | Major Payne-Diaz |
| Boston Traffic Director | Laura Biden |
| Budget Director | Sasha Titus |
| Bungee Jumping Instructor | Hugo First |
| Butler in Car Talk's Scotland Division | Angus MacCoatup |
| Broadcast Philosopher | Phillip Airtime |
| Business Forecaster | Luigi Bord |
| Cabinet Maker | L. Ron Cupboard |
| Caffeine Addiction Counselor | Bruno Moore |
| Car Stereo Installer | Carlos Antenna |
| Car Talk Bouncer | Euripedes Ibreakayourface |
| Car Talk Ice Rink Manager | Sam Boney |
| Car Talk Opera Critic | Barbara Seville |
| Celebrity Consultants | Richard Gere-Oil, Mick Jaguar |
| Chairman, Federal Lubrication Board | Alan Greasepan |
| Chairman, Joint Chiefs of Staff | John Shall-I-Pop-a-Wheelie |
| Chairman, Math Dept. | Horatio Algebra |
| Chairman of our Southern Literature Department | Amos Reid |
| Chairman, Oral History Dept. | Ira Caull |
| Chairman, Staff Physics Dept. | Victor Analysis |
| Chairman, Underemployment Study Group | Art Majors |
| Chicken Soup Provisioner | Kent Hoyt |
| Chief Accountant | Candace B. Rittenoff |
| Chief Benefactor | Myra Chunkle |
| Chief Cook and Bottle Washer | Chef Boyar Ubusy |
| Chief Estimator | Edward James Almost |
| Chief Information Officer | Otto Delupe |
| Chief Justice | Harry Mental, aka Judge Mental |
| Chief Legal Counsel | Hugh Louis Dewey of Dewey, Cheetham & Howe |
| Chief Negotiator | Bernadette Bridge |
| Chief of Stadium Seating for the Olympics | Wayne Back |
| Chief Procrastinator | Juan Menudo |
| Chief Procrastinator, Paris Office | Jacques Hughes |
| Chief Procurement Officer | Emma Chizzit |
| Chief of Tire Technology | Yessir Itsaflat |
| Child Care Provider | A. Hugh Nokitov |
| Child Development Expert | Dr. Benjamin Spark |
| Child Transportation Specialist | Minnie Van Driver |
| Children's Menu Adviser | Bea Ferrone |
| Children's Music Programmer | Al Lowetta |
| Children's Sleepover Coordinator | Amos Muhmahmi |
| Cigar Smoke Monitor | Anna Paulina Roma |
| Class Attendance Monitor | Julie Verley |
| Class Valedictorian | Sidney Furst Rowe |
| Cleanliness Inspector | Adolph Deflor |
| Cliché Monitor | Saul Wellingood |
| Climate Change Monitor | Jillian Here |
| Clock Watcher | Colette O'Day |
| Clothing Designer | Hugh Jass |
| Co-Chairmen of Apathy Study Group | Ben Thayer, Don Thatt |
| Coffee Break Manager | Carmella Highwater |
| Collections Specialist | Colin Duboise |
| Collision Repair Specialist | Jesse "The Body Shop" Ventura |
| Commencement Speaker | Gladys Overwith |
| Communications Director | George Stayontopothis |
| Communications Director II | Noam Sayin |
| Communications Specialist, Rome Office | Kay C. Deech |
| Compassion Coordinator | Ophelia Paine |
| Complaint Line Operator | Xavier Breath |
| Complaint Line Operator II | Levon Hold |
| Complaint Resolution Specialist | Billy Aiken |
| Computer Hardware Specialist | C. Colin Backslash |
| Computer Instructor | C. Boynton Glick |
| Conductor Emeritus, Tappet Brothers Symphony Orchestra | Sludgy Ozawa |
| Conductor, Tappet Brothers Symphony Orchestra | Philip Harmonic |
| Conflict Resolution Specialist | Hugo Origo |
| Conflict Resolution Specialist | Yvonne Apeesamey |
| Congressional Lobbyists | Orrin Hatchback, Dan Rustencarski, Paul Simonize, B. F. Gingrich |
| Conservative Political Commentator | Eileen Tudor-Wright |
| Conspiracy Theorist | Nadia Belimi |
| Construction Manager | Dustin Dubree |
| Contract Extension Negotiator | Evan Elpus |
| Coordinator, 12-Step Recovery Program | Cody Pendant |
| Coordinator of Summer Visits to the Inlaws | Don Juan-Gogh |
| Copyright Attorney | Pat Pending |
| Corporate Spokesperson | Hugh Lyon Sack |
| Crash Tester | Hope Anna Prayer |
| Creative Director | Drew A. Blank |
| Credit Counselor | Max Stout |
| Criminal Justice Expert | Lauren Order |
| Cruise Activity Planner | Eton Doolittle |
| Curator of Dionne Warwick Studies | Isiah Lilprair |
| Curator of our French Armaments Exhibit | Brittany Spears |
| Curator of Tom's Car Collection | Rex Galore |
| Customer Car Care Representative | Haywood Jabuzoff |
| Customer Car Care Representative Assistant | Dot Stubadd |
| Customer Credit Officer | Noah Wayne Hellman |
| Customer Greeter | Mel Pugh |
| Day Old Seafood Chef | Amelia Loos |
| Daylight Savings Time Manager | Konrad Adenauer |
| Customer Service Representative from London Office | Sir Leo Mann |
| Defense Attorney | Justin Volk V |
| Defense Attorney II | Heronimus B. Blind |
| Defense Attorney III | Donnatella Dicoppas |
| Defense Attorney IV | Gil T. Azell |
| Defense Dept. Consultant | Major Error |
| Dental Hygienist | Ginger Vitis |
| Dermatologist for Teenagers | Don Pickett |
| Desi Arnaz Biographer | Ike Arumba |
| Dessert Chef | Tyra Meesu |
| Dessert Menu Planner | Eaton Flanagan |
| Director of Accounts Payable | Bill Shredder |
| Director of Allergy Research | Theresa Pollinating |
| Director of Alpine Choir | O. Leo Lahey |
| Director of Automotive Security | Boris Karlarm |
| Director, Automotive Recycling Center (aka Junkyard) | Ricardo Dismantleban |
| Director of Cadillac Steering | Toulouse Toutrack |
| Director of The Car Talk Psychic Network | La Toyota Jackson |
| Designer of Casual Clothing Line | Noh Tie, Woo! |
| Director of Catering | Russell Upsumgrub |
| Director of Clandestine Meetings | Ron DesVue |
| Director of Cold Weather Starting | Martina Neverturnover |
| Director of Computer Diagnostics | Gus O'Genn |
| Director of Computer Services | Dot Matrix |
| Director of Congressional Funding | Fred Knott |
| Director of Country Music | Stan Beyerman |
| Director of Deep Sea Research | Marianna Trench |
| Director of Delicate Electronics Repair | Anita Hammer |
| Director of Desert Food Supplies | Sandy Berger |
| Director of Elder Affairs | Al Takaka |
| Director of E-mail Responses | Peggy Flaming |
| Director of Employee Loyalty Program | Upton Leftus |
| Director of Ethics & Honesty | U. Lyon Sack |
| Director of Firestone Tire Recalls | Ivana Michelin |
| Director of Gender Studies | Amanda B. Reckondwyth |
| Director of Global Warming | Nomar Winter |
| Director of Grad Student Transportation | Iona Heap |
| Director of Guaranteed Repeat Business | Lucinda Boltz |
| Director of High-Speed Impact Studies | Ricardo Montana-Bahn |
| Director of Italian Traffic Enforcement | Noah U. Turna |
| Director of Intensive Care Unit (The Picabo ICU) | Picabo Street |
| Director of Jamaican Baseball Operations | Reggae Jackson |
| Director of Japanese Cooling Systems | Emperor Overhito |
| Director of Latin American Shameless Commerce | Chico Maniorda |
| Director of Listener Support | Noah Fundrive |
| Director of Lubrication | Olive Presser |
| Director of Luxury Car Horns | Toney Blare |
| Director of Long-Range Strategic Planning | Kay Sera |
| Director of Monopoly Policy | Juan Moorehouse |
| Director of New Product Repair | Warren T. Mifutt |
| Director of Nutritional Supplements | Rose Hips |
| Director of Pavlovian Research | Isabelle Ringing |
| Director of Pedestrian Operations | Carless Castenada |
| Director of Photography | Len Scapon |
| Director of Positive Reinforcement | A. Kurt Nod |
| Director of Pollution Control | Maury Missions |
| Director of Preventive Maintenance | Oscar Ruitt |
| Director of Purchasing | Lois Bidder |
| Director of Puzzler Answer Luxury Gift Reception | Donatella Debois |
| Directors of Quality Control | Les Thomas and Nomar Raymond |
| Director of Quality Control II | Eamon Lowe |
| Director of Red Sox Themed Upholstery | Nomar Car-seat-repairer |
| Director of Roadway Resurfacing | Sylvia Pottholi |
| Director of Russian Rust Protection | Yevgeny Primercoat |
| Director of Speed Bumps | Slow-Me-Down Milosevic |
| Director of Sports Information | Linus Scrimmage |
| Director of Staff Bonuses | Holly Unlikely |
| Director of Staff Bonuses II | Ray Vaughn |
| Director of Staff Pay Increases | Xavier Breath (assisted by Tony Von Thinkett!) |
| Director of Standard Time | Red Auerbach |
| Director of Sycophantic Activities | Eileen Yorway |
| Director of Three Stooges Studies | Lee Eyeapoka |
| Director of Top Secret Strategy | Donatello Nobatti |
| Director of Unsolicited Advice | H. Ross Peugeot |
| Director of Upward Mobility in Eastern Europe | Zbigniew Chrysler |
| Director of Vengeance | Ewell Rudy Day |
| Director of Warm-Weather Programming | Sumner Reruns |
| Director of Year-End Bonuses | Holly Unlikely |
| Disciplinarian | Don Fuller Round |
| Disgruntled Massage Therapist | Ophelia Self |
| Distant Cousin in Mexico City | Jaime Royal Payne Diaz |
| Divorce Attorney | Carmine Nottyors |
| Document Security Expert from Jamaica | Euripedes Upmann |
| Dog Trainer | Don Chase Katz |
| Door-to-Door Sales | Annie Von Holm |
| Dope Slap Administrator | Thad Hertz |
| Dougie's Live-in Fashion Improvement Coach | Noah Vale |
| Downsizing Consultant | Candace Guy |
| Drug Trials Specialist | Placebo Domingo |
| Drycleaner | Preston Creases |
| Dyslexic Rock and Roll Music Critic | Roland Rock |
| Early American Folk Music Specialist | Constance R. Rowe |
| East Asian Used Car Expert | Alexander Soldyernissan |
| Ebay Specialist | Selma Junkoff |
| Electronics Technician | Sammy Conductor |
| Elocution Coach | Richard Shun (aka Dick) |
| Elvis Impersonator | Amal Shookup |
| Emergency Humor Hotline Operator | Joe Klein |
| Emergency Preparedness Director | Ron Lykell |
| Emergency Room Physician | Henrietta Badclam |
| Emissions Tester | Justin Hale VII (I, II,III, IV, V, VI may they RIP) |
| Empathy Coach | Enzo Watt |
| Employee Morale Boosters | Phil Lacrap and his brother Luke Lacrap |
| Employee Orientation Specialist | Trudy Gauntlet |
| Employee Refrigerator Monitor | Carmen Dating |
| Employee Terminator | Laura Deboom |
| Engine Cooling Systems Manager | Jean Claude Air Damme |
| Evasive Driving Instructor | Vera Bruptly |
| Executive Coach | Russell Papus |
| Executive Washroom Attendant | Eustace Stahl |
| Exercise Guru | Liza Round |
| Exhaust Manifold Specialist | Manny Burns |
| Express Oil Change Provider | Joaquin Joaquout |
| Fact Checker | Ella Fynoe |
| Fact Checker, Mexico City Office | C.S. Verdad |
| Fashion Consultant | Natalie Attired |
| Fashion Improvement Coach | Noah Vale |
| Father-in-Law Liaison | Royal Payne Diaz |
| Feng Shui Consultant in Mumbai | Rhea Rangit |
| Figure Skating Coach | Landon McKeaster |
| Financial Advisors | Illgott and Gaines |
| Financial Forecaster | Lou Gubrious |
| Fleet Maintenance Manager | Renata Oil |
| Fleet Manager | Oscar de la Rental |
| Food Taster | Howard M. Burgers |
| Footwear Consultant | Susan Shocks |
| 401 K Advisor | Hugh Don Wannano |
| French Automotive Liaison | Maurice Chevrolet |
| French Child Care Coordinator | Gerard Diaperdoo |
| French Dogwalker | Poupon Degrasse |
| French Folk Music Historian | John T. Alouetta |
| French Ford Expedition Driver | Henri Rependent |
| French Vacation Specialist | April Lynn Parris |
| Gambling Addiction Counselor | Althea Andrasia |
| Gas Tank Welder | Stan Beck |
| Gastroenterologist | Cameron Diaz |
| Genetic Counselor in Rome | Donna Maria Eucuzzin |
| German Interpreter | Axel Hausen |
| Golf and Wine Correspondent | Litre Vino |
| Golf Pro | Putnam Daily |
| Gospel Choir Director | Colin Response |
| Graduation Coordinators | Val and Dick Torian |
| Grammar Consultant | I.M. Shirley Wright |
| Greek Driving Instructor | Adjustes Miros |
| Greek Insurance Estimator | Costa Grand |
| Guest Accommodations | The Horseshoe Road Inn |
| Guide to Rapid Sun Tanning | Les Block |
| Gum Surgeon | Perry O'Dontal |
| Hair | I.M. Mr. Gigi |
| Hair Color Consultant | Dewey R. Donti |
| Hair Restoration Specialist | Hedda Harrigan |
| Head of Alterations | Toulouse Toulong |
| Head of Bldgs. & Grounds | Moe D'Lawn |
| Head of Covert Operations | Dinah Tell |
| Head of Customer Service | Dawn Boddame |
| Head of Division of Threat Assessment | Ewen Whadarmy |
| Head of Front Desk Security | Constance Noring |
| Head of Personal Security | C. Howie Run |
| Head of Security | Barb Dwyer |
| Head of our Organ Donation Program | Olivia McColon |
| Heads of Parts Dept. | Al Lloyd Wheel, Constance Velocity |
| Head of Used Car Purchasing | Ewell B. Hoffinett |
| Head of Watersports Marketing | Selma Kayak |
| Head of Working Mother Support Group | Erasmus B. Dragon |
| Help Desk Coordinator | Dan Difino |
| Help Desk Supervisor | Reed Emanuel Pal |
| Help Line Coordinators | Kara Lott-Knott, Don Bothermy |
| Holiday Decoration Specialist | Aretha Holley |
| Holiday Wardrobe Consultant | Don Weenau |
| Horsepower Consultant | Mr. Ed |
| Hospitality Director | Doris Shutt |
| In-house Literary Critic | Al Ligori |
| In-law Hospitality Provider | Emile Endicott |
| Insurance Agent | Heidi Ductible |
| Interior Decorator | Perry Winkle |
| Interpretive Dance Instructor | Tristan Schaut |
| Inventory Manager | Mandalit Del Bar-Code |
| Iraqi Sales Director | Aziz Nowarranty |
| Italian Conflict Resolution Specialists | Hugh and Mia Donnagria |
| Italian Governess | Donna Day Evvalurn |
| International Lubrication Experts | C.V. Boutros Boutros Gali and Fidel Castrol |
| IQ Evaluator | Lois Tess Gore |
| Janis Joplin Biographer | Ian Bobby McGee |
| Japanese Chef | Benny Honda |
| Jazz Music Coordinator | Bertha Deblues |
| Jeep Driver | Jocelyn De Contents |
| Jewelry Appraiser | Golda Myear |
| Jewelry Appraiser II | Mehta Feingold |
| Jump Starting Expert | Stan Wellback |
| Keeper of Bell Tower | (Hatchback of Notre Dame) Quasi Automotive |
| Laptop Repair Specialist | Eustace Hammer |
| Latin American Bullfighting Specialist | Gordon Diaz |
| Latin American Trade Representative | Noah Comprenday |
| Layoff Counselor | Harry Verderchi |
| Lay Off Counselor II | Oscar Lavista |
| Leader of The Former Peugeot Dealers of America Support Group | Eustace L. Emmons |
| Leo Tolstoy biographer: Warren Peace | Author of Leo Tolstoy by Warren Peace |
| Liaison to the British Isles | Isaiah Oldchap |
| Liaison to the Space Program | Roger Houston |
| Liaison Officer to Volvo & Renault | Bjorne Toulouse |
| Libel Defense Director in Tokyo | Sosumi Areti |
| Lighting Expert | Shanda Lear |
| Literary Critics | Ernest & Julio Hemingway |
| Little Dog of Payne-Diaz family | Toto Payne Diaz |
| Loan Officer | I.O. Silver |
| Local News Reporter | Phil Mataleven |
| Locksmith | Ernest & Eustace Nailfile |
| Long Distance Cycling Enthusiast | Major Ashburn |
| Long-Distance Truck Driver | Etienne Wheeler |
| Long Range Economic Planner | Darren D. Headlights |
| Loss Prevention Associate | Natasha D'Merchandise |
| Lost Luggage Tracker | Lester Carey |
| Lottery Ticket Coordinator | Jason Rainbows |
| Lug Nut Specialist | Tad Tolouse |
| Luncheon Chef | Hannah Mia Cannatunna |
| Luxury Accomomdations Provider | Tony Diggs |
| Mailman | Alfredo De-Daschund |
| Manager of Automotive Accessories | Francis Ford Cupholda |
| Manager of Car Talk Capital Depreciation Fund | Les Ismore |
| Manager of Cartalk.Com | Cy Burnett |
| Manager, Car Talk Listeners Rebate Program | Wendy Pigsfly |
| Manager, Donkey Based Video Equipment | Cameron Diaz |
| Manager of Employee Refrigerator | Carmen Dating |
| Manager of the Weekly Shrimp Buffet | Sheldon Deveigned |
| Marine Biologist | Frieda Wales |
| Marine Forecaster | Windsor Calm |
| Marriage Counselor | Marion Haste |
| Martial Arts Trainer | Anita Degroin |
| Mechanic's Assistant | Hannah Twomey |
| Missing Persons Investigator, from the Tel Aviv office | Yehuda Guy |
| Montana Traffic Law Director | Hugh Jim Bissell |
| Mortgage Loan Consultant | Nora Lenderbee |
| Mother-in-Law Liaison | Stella Payne Diaz |
| Motivational Speaker | Boris Oxoff |
| Moving Van Driver | Carrie Desofa |
| Museum Guide | Desdamona Lisa |
| Music Director | Mel F. Lewis |
| Musical Director | Donna E. Mobile |
| Musical Theater Critic from the Bombay Office | Jaswant Singh |
| Natural History Curator | Willie Mammoth |
| New-Employee Training Program | Ewell Flounder |
| New York-based Dispute Settlement Coordinator | Hugh Talkinamee |
| Nomadic Studies | Roman Hunt |
| Nutrition Consultants | Eaton Wright and Liven Good |
| New Truck Reviewer | Zbigniew Rigg |
| Night Club Manager | Don Kashane |
| Wine Snob | Noah Merle Low |
| Official Football Widow | Eliza Decouch |
| Office Ice Cream Taster | Nora Morse |
| Official Spokesperson | Howie Vasive |
| Official Spokesperson | Lou Scannon |
| Ornithologist in Training | Luke A. Boyd |
| Our Chief Negotiator | Nicole Anne Dime |
| Our DNA Researcher | Gene Hackman |
| Overnight Bus Driver | Borden Drousy |
| Overseer of Florida Voting Practices | Emmanuel Recount |
| Parking Attendant | Rick O'Shea |
| Parking Garage Attendant | Ray Zador |
| Parking Lot Attendant | Kent Stirwell |
| Parole Officer | Willy Bolt |
| Parts Inventory Manager | Wayne Debach |
| Pastry Chef | Edith Tu |
| Pastry Chef II | Buck Le Vaugh |
| Paternity Suit Researcher | Oren Jewison |
| Pedestrian Advocate | Jay Walker |
| Pension Fund Manager | Dot Comstock |
| Periodontist | Winston Paine |
| Personal Hygiene Advisor from the Tokyo Office | Oh Takashawa |
| Personal Makeup Artist | Bud Tuggli |
| Personal Trainer | Jim Shortz |
| Personal Trainer II | Euripides Abs |
| Pet Shop Inventory Manager | Arthur Katzenbach |
| Petty Cash Auditor | Dave Reckoning |
| Philosopher | Wanda Y. Datso |
| Photographer | F. Stop Fitzgerald |
| Physical Therapist | Eustace Kane |
| Physical Therapist | Estelle Hoyts |
| Physics Graduate Student | Laura Vernersha |
| Pitching Coach | Owen Too |
| Plastic Surgeon | Fay Slift |
| Podcast Reviewer | Kent Stan de Noyes |
| Poet Laureate | Robert Defrost |
| Poker Coach | Althea Andrasia |
| Political Consultant | Mark Iavelli |
| Political Consultant II | Paul C. Wonk |
| Ponzi Scheme Operator | Shirley W. Money |
| PowerPoint Producer | Boris Tadeff |
| PR Director | Bea Esser |
| Practical Joke Evaluator | Odessa Goodwyn |
| Practical Joke Specialist | Dietrich Iznotulaff |
| Prayer Coach | Denise Hurt |
| Pre-show Caterers | Giardia Brothers |
| President, Car Talk Hair Club for Men | Emerson Fittibaldie (he's also a client) |
| President, Disgruntled Hatchback Owners Club | Ivana Trunk |
| Press Secretary | Don B. Zonozi |
| Producer's Office, Furnished by | Rick Kleiner |
| Proof Reader | Erin Spelling |
| Proprietor of Car Talk's men clothing store | Euripedes Eumenedes |
| Prosecuting Attorney | Melissa Forethought |
| Pseudonym Consultant | Norm De Plume |
| Public Opinion Pollster | Paul Murky of Murky Research |
| Puerto Vallarta Transmission Specialist | Synchro de Mayo |
| Public Appearances Coordinator | Ida Klein |
| Puzzler Tester | Otis S. Hard |
| Race Team Driver | Andy Zoff |
| Rafting Guide | Euphrates Rapids |
| Ranch Foreman | Hyman Oldcowhand |
| Ratings Analysis Specialist | Rita Menweip |
| Recently Discovered Uncle from Warsaw | Zbigniew Payne Diaz |
| Receptionist | Sedona Tush |
| Receptionist II | Levon Hold |
| Regional Director, Atlanta | Frank Lee Scarlett |
| Registered Mail Manager | Kent B. Goode |
| Reincarnation Expert | Diana Comeback |
| Reluctant Film Editor | Francis Ford Cupholda |
| Rental Property Manager | Ulysses Up |
| Rental Property Manager | Condoleeza B. Broken |
| Repair Cost Consultant | Bill M. Moore |
| Repo Agent | Carmine Now |
| Restroom Attendants | Trudy Door & Donna Hall |
| Retirement Party Planner | Luisa Jolley Goodfellow |
| Retractable Antenna Tester | Benton Broke |
| Rock and Roll Historian | Bruce Wade Hughes |
| Rocket Scientist | Chet Propeld |
| Rollerblading Instructor | Landon McKeester |
| Roman History Buff | Vinnie V. Divici |
| Route Planner | Oliver D. Map |
| Rumanian Emissions Tester | Vlad the Inhaler |
| Russian-American Hesitation Specialist | Anita Putin Newkarb |
| Russian Chauffeur | Picov Andropov |
| Russian Gas Station Attendant | Phillip Antopitov |
| Russian Intern | Igor Beaver |
| Russian Vacation Specialist | Ivana Veekoff |
| Safari Planner | Sarah Anne Getty |
| Safety Officers | Mort & Fay Tality |
| Sales Director | Aziz Nowarranty |
| Sales Motivation Coach | Norman Vincent Pealeout |
| Satellite Radio Critic | Candace B. Sirius |
| Scout Leader | Lawson D. Woods |
| Seafood Provisioner | Howard E. Oysters |
| Seasonal Adjustment Disorder Specialist | Mahmoud S. Bleak |
| Seat Cushion Tester | Mike Easter |
| Seating Consultant | Rush Lumbar |
| Second Shift Meteorologist | Claudio Vernight |
| Secretary of Pain Relief | Les Aspirin |
| Secretary of Halogen Headlamps | Made-A-Lane Allbright |
| Secretary of Photographic Reproduction | Fresh Prince |
| Self Defense Instructor | Nina Cahones |
| Self Esteem Coach | Mia Culpa |
| Senior Accountant from the Paris Office | Count De Monet |
| Senior Citizen Driving Instructor | Tonya Blinkeroff |
| Senior Ornithologist | Seymour Robbiins |
| Sensitive Language Advisor | Holly Schmidt |
| Set Theorist from the Stockholm Office | Sven Diagram |
| Sexual Harassment Counselor | Natasha Diaz |
| Sexual Harassment Intervention Counselor | Pat McCann |
| Sexual Harassment Trainer, Frankfurt Office | Hans T. Josef |
| Shop Foreman | Luke Bizzy |
| Shop Foreman II | Constance Ubervision |
| Short Order Cook | Burt Toast |
| Show Reviewer | Seamus O'Dull |
| Sidewalk Clothing Vendor | Chip Pentz |
| Singing Urologist | Urethra Franklin |
| Sleep Clinic Operator | Betty Bayh |
| Sleepy LaBeef Ticket | Procurer Caldwell Ahead |
| Snowboarding Instructor | Soren Dekeester |
| Solicitor of New Ideas | Obie Quiet |
| Soloists | Kerry Oki, Victor Yugo |
| Spanish Gerontologist | Senor Moment |
| Special Liaison to the California Energy Commission | Tanya Lightov |
| Speech Pathologist | Peter Aftermey |
| Speechwriter | Audrey Marx |
| Spiritual Counselor | Miss Dolly Lama |
| Spiritual Counselors | Zeke and Ewell Find |
| Sportsmanship Coach | Ivan Youlose |
| Staff Activities Coordinator | Dewey Hafta |
| Staff Acupuncturist | O. Howard Hertz |
| Staff Advisor | Judy Cyde |
| Staff Alpinist | Arianna Topyet |
| Staff Archivist | Bernadette File |
| Staff Author | Four-Door Dostoevski |
| Staff Barber | Buzz Wazleftov |
| Staff Barber II | Les Offenbach |
| Staff Bicycle Tester | Maya Certz |
| Staff Bikini Waxer | Harry Mouval |
| Staff Brown Noser | Esther Iffick |
| Staff Butler, from the Car Talk Bombay Division | Mahatma Coat |
| Staff Bouncer | Euripedes Ibrakauface |
| Staff Carburetor Expert | Leslie Stahl |
| Staff Cardiologist | Angie O'Plasty |
| Staff Cartographers | Frances N. Europe and Niles N. Africa |
| Staff Cat Feeder | Ken Opener |
| Staff Caterer | Edith Ann Weepe |
| Staff Chaperone | Theresa Crowd |
| Staff Chaplain | Neil Down |
| Staff Cheese Expert | Gordon Zola |
| Staff Child Seat Tester | Drew Lee Weiner |
| Staff Chiropractor | Winston Paine |
| Staff Composers | Gustav Muffler, Bela Cartok |
| Staff Cooks | Al Dente, Sal Monella |
| Staff Copy Editor | Adeline Moore |
| Staff Dermatologist | Ivan Offalitch |
| Staff Dietician | Norma Lee Chowen |
| Staff Disciplinarian | Les Stern |
| Staff Disciplinarian II | Tara Neuwon |
| Staff Disciplinarian III | Juan Demerritt |
| Staff Dramatist | Anton Chokeov |
| Staff Fact Checker | Neera Nuff |
| Staff Forger | Vera Similitude |
| Staff Gastroenterologist | Dr. Louis Stuhls |
| Staff Geneticist | Dr. Jean Poole |
| Staff Geographer | Lorraine, Alsace |
| Staff Gigolo | Spencer Cash |
| Staff Gossip Columnist. | Bud Inski |
| Staff Grief Counselor | Ariel Bummerman |
| Staff Groper | Manny Bumsfeldt |
| Staff Historian | Marsha Time |
| Staff Intern | Lois Rung |
| Staff Intuitionist | Ivan Inkling |
| Staff Kitchen Designer | Joaquin Freezer |
| Staff Kleptomaniac | Heidi Silver |
| Staff Landscaper | Alonzo Greene |
| Staff Martini Mixer | Oliver Twist |
| Staff Mediator | Sue First |
| Staff Mediator II | Collette Even |
| Staff Meteorologist | Gail Storm |
| Staff Meteorologist II | Claudio Vernight |
| Staff Meteorologist from New Delhi | Luke Audavindo |
| Staff Meteorologist from the Seattle Office | Wayne Goaway |
| Staff Morale Coach | Donna Karen E. Moore |
| Staff Morticians | Barry L. Plotz Sven Didigo |
| Staff Naturalist | Diedre Oppings |
| Staff Nutritionist | Arlene Menu |
| Staff Oral Historian | Studds Tercel |
| Staff Ornithologist, McMurdo Office | Marcia De Penguins |
| Staff Orthopedist | Denise Hoyt |
| Staff Philosopher | Ray Zondette |
| Staff Physicist | Moe Mentum |
| Staff Prestidigitator | O. Luke Adair |
| Staff Promotions Director | Anita Buttkiss |
| Staff Psychologist | Les Moody |
| Staff Reporters | Walter Windshield, Walter Crankcase |
| Staff Sommelier | Avery Goodyear |
| Staff Snowplow Driver | Frasier Tushov |
| Staff Supervisor | Mike Romanage |
| Staff Temporary Housing Specialist | Condo Leaser Rice |
| Staff Urologist | Willa Catheter |
| Staff Urologist II | Pete Shedille |
| Standard Time Keeper | Hans Auerbach |
| State Secrets Keeper | Lucinda Tung |
| Station Identification Coordinator | Avery Haffenauer |
| Statistician | Marge Innovera |
| Studio Repair Technician | Sloan Cranky |
| Summer Intern | Gladys Overnow |
| Summer Wardrobe Coordinator | Bermuda Schwartz |
| Sunscreen Provisioner | Les Brown |
| Suppliers of Insurance to Dewey, Cheetham and Howe | C.F.I. Care |
| Surf Reporter | Cal Abunga |
| Surgeon General | C. Everett Koop DeVille |
| Swedish Attorney | Bjorn Liar |
| Swedish Pessimist | Gunnar D. Daysr |
| Swimwear Designer | C. Bigby Heinz |
| Swing Dance Consultant | Antonia Band-Era |
| Table Saw Operator | Les Digits |
| Taciturn Poet | Kurt Rhymer |
| Tailor | Euripedes Imenedes |
| Tax Consultant | Lou Pole |
| Tax Preparer | Bernice Documents |
| Teenage Daughter | Sasha Royal Payne Dias |
| Teenage Valet | Lao Tse Parker |
| Telephone Complaint Taker | Opal Lease |
| Telephone Solicitation Response Specialist | Teresa Noboddihoum |
| Telephone Solicitor, Paris Office | Henri Lenting |
| Termite Inspector | Luke Underwood |
| Timing Director | Benjamin Not-Yet-You-Yahoo! |
| Toastmaster | Cy Gazunt |
| Tom's Beard Cleaner | Emile Initself |
| Tom's Personal Dating Coach | Edna Bagg |
| Tommy's Ex House Cleaner | Stu Grody |
| Tommy's Front Yard Designer | Roxanne Debris |
| Tom's Memory Coach | Hugh Sherlock Familia |
| Tom's Official Co-Pilot | Yvette de Pants |
| Tom's Other Dating Coach | Annie Von Vildo |
| Tom's Personal Hygiene Coach | Haseen Benisi |
| Tom's Personal Matchmaker | Robin D'Craydell |
| Tour Leader | Terry Incognito |
| Town Car Rear Seat Passenger | Ralph Oliver |
| Town Criers | Nina Clark and Alice Well |
| Traffic Reporter | U.B. Crawlin |
| Train Derailment Specialist | Toulouse La Track |
| Transcriber | Diana Boredom |
| Transportation Coordinator | Rick Shaw |
| Travel Agent | Lois Faire |
| Travel Agent, Bombay Office | Vishnu Verhere |
| Travel Coordinator | Althea Around |
| Two Year Old | Ariel Payne Diaz |
| Undergarment Inspector | I.C. London |
| Urgent Response Coordinator | Candace Waite |
| Used Car Salesman | Alexis Itznot |
| Used Car Salesperson | Meg Meehan Hoffa |
| Vehicle Preservation Specialist | Cosmo Lean |
| Videographer, Tel Aviv Office | Schlomo Replay |
| Visually Impaired Parking Lot Attendant | Dale Neverknow |
| Wardrobe Advisor | Luke Howard Fitzhugh |
| Wardrobe Advisor II | Harley Fitzhugh |
| Wardrobe Assistant | Joaquin Closet |
| Wardrobe Consultant | Natalie Attired |
| Warrantee Claim Adjudicator | Candace B. Rittenoff |
| Weekend Excursion Planner | Deepak Tumuch |
| Weight Loss Coach | Hugh Otto Dewitt |
| Werewolf Studies Specialist | Harriet Knight |
| Window Dressers | Curt and Rod |
| Windshield Wiper Replacement Team | Ike and Zeke Leerly |
| Windsurfing Instructor | Eileen Windy |
| Wine Taster from the Abu Dhabi Office | Hassen Ben Sober |
| Women's Hockey Team | Miss Inga Tooth |
| Yodeling Instructor from Hawaii | Leo Del Lahey Hy |
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